Pickle Heaven Press-James R. Johnson

something to help you laugh and think about life with Christ

what are the odds? — February 5, 2025

what are the odds?

Sometimes I wonder if I might have IBS – Irritable Brain Syndrome – but then I have found that there are people who may have even less on the ball than I do. 

There exists today a religious sect of zealous subscribers.  They correctly believe that heaven is the last and best stop of our journey.  However, they teach that only 144,000 of their followers will qualify. 

As of 2024 they number about 8.6 million.  Which means that only 1 out of 60 of the faithful will make it through the pearly gates.  Hmm?  The typical local congregation is no more than 200, which means that an average of 2 people from each gathering will make it to glory land.  How disheartening!

To qualify they must adhere to the teaching and be active in their preaching.  The more people they persuade to be baptized and become followers, the better their chances of going to heaven. 

BUT – let’s suppose each follower was able to enlist just one person.  That would double the membership to 17.2 million followers, which lowers the odds of admission. Only 1 out of 120 of the membership would walk the streets of gold. 

The sect is now over 154 years old which means there is a century and a half of competitors who want to be one of the 144,000.  Oh, and their ecclesiastical authorities refuse to disclose the number of baptisms from the inception of their movement to the present.  I wonder why?

Though they say their teaching is Biblically based, I think they missed a verse or two or maybe two hundred.  Let’s look at just one for now. The apostle Paul wrote, “For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so that no one can boast” – Ephesians 2:8-9.

Paul said it is by grace that we are saved.  Grace is that undeserved intervention of God – who, out of His goodness, does something for us that we cannot do for ourselves.  He takes spiritually bankrupt people and puts a hefty deposit into our accounts. 

To be saved is to have God redirect our paths from the pit of hell to the pinnacle of heaven. 

Grace is His response to our faith in the divine Lord Jesus, who was crucified for our sins, and then rose again to prove that what He did for us was more than enough. 

Very important is the idea that this salvation is not something that we can earn – it is not of ourselves.  It is the gift of God – not a wage for our work.  If I should attempt to work for something that has been given as a gift – I would insult the giver and steal the generous spirit that prompted it.   But God is the giver of grace, and we, therefore, have no reason to boast. 

And yet the folks in that sect work tirelessly to proselytize.  Just the other day I removed one of their sneaky tracts which was slapped on a gas pump.  They labor to earn a spot in heaven. 

Ironically, they have an aggressive disfellowshipping program, which means they regularly kick people out, which helps to increase the possibility of heaven for those who are left.

And yet Jesus said that once we are in, we can’t be out. He said, “My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; no one will snatch them from my hand – John 10:27-28.

It’s hard to undeserve something that we never deserved in the first place.  We are saved by God’s grace as a response to our faith in Jesus.

Take a moment today and pray.  Tell Him, “Save me Lord for I am a sinner.  I need and I want Jesus and the gift of forgiveness that He died to provide for me.”

A Prayer: Lord help those who misunderstand your gracious liberating truth

This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com

May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you always

Scripture passages are from the NETBible ®

how fortunate — November 27, 2024

how fortunate

I picked up my meal and tucked the complimentary Chinese fortune cookie into my shirt pocket.   I don’t put much stock in a fortune cookie.  If it truly brought good fortune, it would be a whole lot thicker and have chocolate icing on it. 

But what if I really could get a peek into my future – to know what is down the road?  That would be amazing.  And yet most of the fortunes in those cookies are goofy.  One read, “You love Chinese food.”  Wow how did the cookie know that?  

Knowing the future is desirable but the Lord warned us against those who try to predict it.   He said, through Moses, “There must never be found among you anyone…. who practices divination, an omen reader, (or) a soothsayer….”  – Deuteronomy 18:10.    These were people who could allegedly predict the future by employing questionable techniques.

Some purveyors were charlatans who offered vague sweeping predictions, that the one promised could interpret in a thousand different ways.

Other purveyors consorted with demons and predicted circumstances which those dark devious powers could manipulate and help to bring about.

Either path led people into confusion and away from the Lord.

But what about the fortune cookie?  Where does its power lie?

Most historians say that the cookie originated in San Francisco during the 19th century by a person of Asian descent.  The largest manufacturer today is Wonton Food, Inc., which is headquartered in Brooklyn, New York. They make over 4.5 million cookies per day.

Their head fortune teller was a man named Donald Lau.  For over 30 years, Lau, who is also the Chief Financial Officer of Wonton foods, wrote and published the fortunes.  He drew inspiration from varied cultures and life settings including from the graffiti on the New York subway walls. He claimed to be the “most read author in the United States.”

What extra sensory ability qualified him for this job?  At the time he spoke the best English of anyone in the Chinese American Company.  So much for the mystic power of a fortune cookie!

And yet, I made a stop to the restroom before I left the restaurant, and as I walked in, I remembered the fortune cookie in my pocket.  And then it hit me, “Hey I’m in the bathroom, no one will see me if I read this silly thing.” 

But I told myself, “No it’s just a goofy slip of meaningless paper.”   And yet I still felt compelled to read it.  Was that a Yin/Yang thing or what? 

I broke it in half, gobbled up the cookie then scanned my fortune.  I think it said, “You need new glasses” because it was hard to read. 

Fortunately, the print in my Bible is much larger and it does a way better job of predicting my future.

The Lord through Jeremiah wrote, “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope” – Jeremiah 29:11.  

The future is wonderful for those who belong to the Lord.  He promised to prosper us and to keep us from harm.  His plan is a stable future brimming with hope. 

Though this was written to Jews in the Old Testament, Jesus promises us even better.  He said, “I have come so that they may have life, and may have it abundantly” – John 10:10.

And that abundant life on earth will eventually ease into a blissful eternal life in heaven.  Again, He said, “My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; no one will snatch them from my hand” – John 10:27-28.

Ironically, Chinese fortune cookies are unknown in China. But the promises of Jesus are embraced worldwide.   

We have a happy present and future in Jesus, so the next time – let’s just eat the cookie!

A PRAYER: How blessed we are Lord to know who holds the future.

This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com

May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you

Scripture passages are from the NETBible ®

pizza in the passing lane — August 23, 2023

pizza in the passing lane

I was on the road but so was the pizza. 

The customer picked up his pizza and then placed it on the roof of the car while he searched his pockets for his keys.

The keys were found, and the pizza forgotten.  He jumped in the car and took off and so did the pizza.  It went soaring through the air and landed in the middle of a four-lane highway.  A drone delivery without the drone.  

I was tempted to rescue it and have a bite, but I think it was anchovy.

Oh, stop laughing!  Most of us have done the same thing.

But listen, what if Jesus were as careless with our souls?  Would it be sacrilegious to wonder if some of us could end up like the pizza in the passing lane?

Let’s let Jesus speak for Himself on this matter.  In John 10, He described Himself as the Good Shepherd and those who follow Him as the sheep.  

When we get to verse 27, we find Jesus saying, “My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”   In those days shepherds would share a common sheep pen.   Each shepherd would entrust that stone fence each night with the safety of his sheep. 

In the morning the shepherd called for his flock.  This was a big ask for a sheep.  The flock was very secure in the pen and very vulnerable outside of its walls. 

But the sheep responded to that voice they had learned to trust.  They separated from the other flocks quartered there, to follow their shepherd out to pasture.  Most livestock must be driven from behind.  Sheep, however, happily follow the lead of the shepherd.

What a warm picture of our relationship with Christ. 

But then Jesus adds the truth of verse 28.  He said, “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; no one will snatch them from my hand.” 

Powerful and assertive words!   He said, “I give them eternal life.”  The tense of the verb is significant.  He did not say “I will give” but “I give” – present tense.   In John 5:24 Jesus spoke to those who had believed saying that they “have” eternal life – also present tense.

But what is eternal life? Life without end.  If Jesus were to ever repossess the eternal life that He gave us when we were saved, then it would have never been eternal to begin with, and we could accuse Him of deception.  Eternal means forever – and if we got it, we got it. 

Then He told us that, “we will never perish.”   This of course is in reference to hell.  To perish is to die, except that hell is a place where the suffering of death is an eternal experience.  But this cannot happen to us, says Jesus, because we have eternal life. 

And then my favorite phrase of this whole section.  He promised, “no one will snatch them from my hand.”  So cool.  The Greek word for snatch (harpadzo) was used to describe a wild animal that would snag and drag away its prey. 

The devil is our predator, but he poses no threat to us.  He won’t be able to seize one of Jesus’ flock and filet them.  Not while The Good Shepherd is on the job. 

Paul said as much in Romans 8:39. He told us that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That pizza in the passing lane was purchased for less than ten bucks.  We, however, were purchased with the precious blood of Jesus. (1 Peter 1:19)  There just ain’t no way He’s gonna let us fly off the car.

So, rest easy my friends in the secure grace of God.  If you know Him – if you have trusted Him as your personal Savior – you are safe. 

A prayer: Lord it feels so good to know that we are secure with You.  Thank You.

This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com

May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you!

Scripture references are from the NETBible ®