There is a mathematical formula for a healthy marriage!

You start with 1

Back in the time of beginnings, God made multiples of every living thing except for man (Genesis 1:24-27).  Why did God make just one?   Maybe because being a man, Adam lacked the relational IQ of a woman. He needed to go without, in order to realize that he needed someone.

So in marriage math, God added 1 + 1.

The day came when Adam finally realized that he was alone.  Genesis 2:20 says,

“But for Adam no suitable helper was found.”  

Adam said to himself, “There’s no one that thinks like me, feels like me – who might be able to care for me.  This was God’s cue. “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.”(Genesis 2:21-22)

The Lord administered anesthesia to Adam.  While he slept, God took a rib and perfectly fashioned it into the woman that he needed.  And the only way to get that rib back was to marry her.

She was called a “helper.”  The Psalmist wrote, “God is my help” – same Hebrew word (Psalm 54:4). This elevated a wife to an exceptionally high status. She became a powerful life partner, without whom Adam could not succeed.  

She was “suitable” for Adam which means that she perfectly corresponded to him.  I get it!  My wife and I are like 2 jagged pieces of a broken plate being joined together to make a functional piece of dinnerware.  We were made to complement each other.   So, we have 1 + 1 which typically equals 2, but

In marriage math – 1 + 1 = 1

Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  This union became the template for all marriages to follow.  They would first need to leave the emotional/material comforts of their homes and choose to depend on each other instead.

When a couple does this, they become one in body and soul.  The Hebrew word for one is “ehad.”  Moses wrote, “Our God is one.”  Same Hebrew word.  (Deut. 6:4)

It’s a mystery how God can be one and yet exists in three persons.  Also, a mystery, says Paul, how a husband and wife can experience a similar type of metaphysical oneness (Ephesians 5:32). So far, our marriage math has taught us that 1 + 1 = 1. 

But it’s not really a marriage unless there are 3

In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Solomon touted the fantastic benefits that 2 people give one another. They produce more than one, plus they can rescue, defend and provide for one another.    

And then Solomon abruptly concluded with this thought, “A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart” (4:12b).  He says 2 are great, but 3 are necessary.  One cord will break under stress; even 2 are insufficient.  But braid three cords together, so that they lock in and grip each other, then you have a rope that cannot be broken.

This implied third strand is the Lord.  The strongest and best marriage is one that includes the Lord.  Why?  Because marriage was designed by God for us and His Word is the ultimate marriage manual. 

And because creating a healthy marriage is not hard, it is virtually impossible.  Put 2 even modestly selfish people in a home together and sparks can fly.  But the couple that loves God, drinks from His Word, that prays and worships as a couple – they will find that selfishness diminish.

And that is God’s mathematical formula for a healthy marriage.

A PRAYER: Lord, we invite you to be that third strand in our home

This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com

May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you always

Scripture passage are from the NIV