Pickle Heaven Press-James R. Johnson

something to help you laugh and think about life with Christ

Tag: anger

lead pipe popgun — October 1, 2025

lead pipe popgun

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Bitterness is like a lead pipe popgun!

Let me explain!  We were kids and we were bored.  One of us decided we should make a bang.  So, he took a piece of lead pipe about 8” long and capped one end. 

He then dropped in some gun powder, packing, and a ball bearing and lay it on the ground.  He lit the fuse, and we ran.  There was an earthshaking explosion and the ball bearing rocketed into the forest.  That was expected.

What was unexpected, was that the lead pipe rocketed the opposite direction – whizzing right between us.  A cold sweat overcame me – knowing I could have been killed.

It strikes me (no pun intended) that bitterness works a lot like that.

When we are hurt by others, we get angry.  The smart person calmly discusses the matter honestly with the offender and the issue is often resolved (Ephesians 4:25-26).  But too often we stuff the anger inside and let it fester into a toxic bitter mindset.

Oh, sure there is a morbid pleasure we get when we punish our offenders by ignoring them, but the cost to bitterness is steep – like a lead pipe popgun careening towards us.

There are physical consequences such as headaches, ulcers, sleeplessness and heart attacks.  There are emotional consequences such as anxiety, panic attacks, tension, and depression.  

There are social consequences.  The bitter person loses the respect of others and often drives away those that are closest to them.  There are spiritual consequences as well that affect our relationship with God (Mark 11:25-26).

Jesus has something to teach here by example.  His ministry was hounded by the Pharisees.  In Luke 5:21 they labeled Him a blasphemer.  In Luke 5:30 they criticized his association with sinners.  In Luke 6:1-2 they accused Him of being a lawbreaker.  

If I had been Jesus, I would have been quite angry and certainly suspicious of every Pharisee.  Yet, we read in Luke 7:36, “Now one of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went into the Pharisee’s house and took his place at the table.” 

Weird!  Dining together was a high and holy concept in the ancient middle east.  To sup with another was a positive core relational experience.  So, Jesus, knowing that the Pharisees had it out for Him, still gave that Pharisee an opportunity to speak with Him and perhaps believe. 

He did it again in Luke 11:37: Another invitation to dine – another fresh start – no animosity from His past, no ugly suspicion, no bitterness.  And yet his Pharisee host criticized Him during that meal (11:38-40). 

Surely Jesus eventually learned to avoid the Pharisees.  But then we read Luke 14:1, “Now one Sabbath when Jesus went to dine at the house of a leader of the Pharisees, they were watching him closely.”  He had forgiven and forgotten the past once again and accepted their invitation. 

We can conclude only one of two things – either Jesus was not very perceptive, or He was smart enough to lay aside yesterday’s hurts to give a man a new chance today.  

Perhaps the most phenomenal display of this heart came at Calvary.  The Pharisees watched as He hung on the cross where they had arranged for Him to die.  It was there that Jesus looked upon them and said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” – Luke 23:34.

Jesus was free from bitterness.  I wish the same could be said of us.  Who is it that makes your blood boil when you think of them?  Who do you work to avoid?  Who rates as unforgivable in your book? 

Let it go!  Jesus said, “…if you have anything against anyone, forgive him…” – Mark 11:25.

Booker T. Washington, a former slave put it this way, “I will never allow any man to destroy or denigrate my soul by making me hate him.”  

So let it go!

A PRAYER: Forgiveness is a divine work.  Lord, give us the grace to do it.

This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com

May the grace of the Lord be with you.

Scripture passages are from the NETBible ®

the habit that saved our marriage — September 23, 2020

the habit that saved our marriage

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We said, “I do” in August. By October our bliss had become a blister.  I got a clue the day she melted into a pile of sobbing mush. 

We talked and tried to unravel the problem.  My sarcasm fueled her insecurities.  She didn’t laugh when I said the meatloaf looked like an old shoe (tasted good though).

Problem was, she hid her hurt.  Instead of arguing with me, she argued with herself.  She was thinking, “He didn’t really mean that – I don’t want to rock the marriage boat – if I point out his mistake, he’ll point out mine” and “I don’t want to seem like a baby.” 

She would talk herself into silence, but the hurt remained.  It raised a tiny emotional blister on her soul.  The longer she ignored it, the bigger it got until that day it finally popped and created a yucky mess.  I confessed that I also hid my hurts.

We loved each other – didn’t want to hurt each other, so we went to Ephesians 4:25-27 for some help. 

Paul wrote, “Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor because we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity.”  NET Bible ®

Some people “clam up” when they are hurt (which was our problem). Others “blow up” (which is where we would eventually end up) but what we needed to do was to “speak up.” 

Paul told us to lay aside falsehood.   To be hurt but pretend you’re not – is to lie.  We needed to speak truthfully to each other – in love – instead. (Eph. 4:15)

Anger is the way God designed us to respond to injustice.  There is no sin in that.  But to clam up or blow up is a sinful response to that anger.  We needed to speak up.

But when?  If the hurt had not been handled earlier in the day, then the time of reckoning is the end of each day.  “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”   

There is a price for those who hold onto their anger.    Paul said it gives the devil an opportunity to erode the relationship.   A hurt creates emotional distance.  The longer the hurt goes unaddressed, the greater the distance gets between us.  We can end up asking, “Why did I ever marry that person?”   And yet an honest, loving conversation can thoroughly remove any distance.  

My wife and I are simple people, so we decided to end every day with a checkup.  We would pray with each other, and read the Word, but before any of that, I would ask her, “Have I done any badness today?”   (don’t laugh – the word badness worked for us.)  

She didn’t have the courage to initiate the discussion.  But, because I did, she felt like I sincerely wanted to hear how I might have impacted her.   I still had to do a little coaxing, but she would then open up and tell me she was hurt when I left her alone at the party.

I was shocked!  It didn’t understand why that would hurt her, but we talked, I learned and then apologized.  She would then ask, “Have I done any badness?”  I would share, she would learn as well. 

Unfortunately, we were often up past midnight that first year of marriage. But we were committed, and we saw the fruit of our habit every day.  It helped us to learn and adjust. 

In fact, we found the habit to be so valuable that we will do it again tonight (as we have every night for the last 44 years.  We will ask again, “Did I do any badness?”

But we probably won’t have anything to share.  You see we got tired of having midnight discussions – so we chose to change.  As we changed there was less to talk about. 

We still err, but we have enjoyed such peace and intimacy in our relationship, that we now deal with hurts more promptly.  I love being at peace with my wife – can’t stand it when I’m not. 

Sorry – this post is not all that funny – but it may be the most important piece I have ever written.  Because, many if not most marriages suffer because they haven’t learned to speak the truth in love to one another. 

If you are married and you are not regularly experiencing this level of honest conversation, your marriage is hurting, and you just don’t know it. 

I would challenge you to find a way of implementing Eph 4:25-26.   Feel free to do what we have done.  We are committed to do it until the Lord takes the first of us home.  If you do it, we would love to hear about it.

A PRAYER: God give me the humility and the courage I need to open myself up to my spouse, that together we might build an even better marriage.