These 3 may be the most overused words in the English language. As toddlers, they were our first attempts at communication. “Me do it!” “No mine!” And we carry them with us all the way into our twilight years, “Gertrude, I want the thermostat set on 86.”
In fact, I was thinking about my prayers as an infant Christian. At age 19 I offered up a lot of, “I, me, mine” prayers like, “Lord, my acne has broken out and I have a date. Would you help me please?” Or “Lord, could you transfer my acne to that guy that’s picking on me?”
When we have the “I, me, mine” disease, it makes those around us sick – – of us. No one appreciates a fussy, demanding child. People run from egocentric adults, and they barely tolerate even the elderly mother who has run-on complaints about her health.
The Beatles once recorded a song called, “I, me, mine.” It was written by George Harrison as a bold self-disclosure of the infighting going on within the band at that time.
The lyrics lamented the self-centered orientation of humanity. Ironically this was the very last song that the Beatles ever recorded. That mentality was responsible for the end of what was probably the most influential rock band ever.
And that’s what it does to rock bands, friendships, churches, business partnerships, families and marriages.
As a pastor I did a fair amount of marriage counseling. Like other counselors I discovered that financial disagreements were often the fuel of marriage conflicts and divorce situations. And it wasn’t whether a couple had money or not. The conflict was over how the money should be spent. I was an “I, me, mine” problem.
And what about churches? I did a study of the New Testament Epistles. I found that the churches at Philippi, and Thessalonica and Colossae and all the rest had some kind of serious conflict going on – all fueled by the “I, me, mine” mentality. The church today is in no worse shape than it was in the first century.
The Spirit of God understands this problem, which is why He gave Paul these words for us,
“Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well” – Philippians 2:3-4. NETBible.com
He gave us a “you/yours” solution to the problem. Let’s just tackle that one phrase, “treat one another as more important than yourself.”
I found that when I act as if my agenda, is the most important, then it pushes others to do the same. When I expect my demands to be met, others react by asserting their counter demands. When I think of myself as being number one, others must either accept that they are number two or aggressively compete with me for the number one spot.
Scripture tells me that the better way is to begin with a number two mindset. My opinion, my will, my agenda need to be set aside on behalf of that other person.
I have found that when I defer to others, they very often respond by deferring to me. When I enter a public building, I will often hold the door for that person behind me. If there is a second door, they will typically hold it open for me.
“Treat one another as more important than yourself.”
If I practiced this in my marriage, I would just put on a sweater when my wife cranks the thermostat down. If we had this attitude at church, we would include a hymn or two for the older folks.
If we were to do this at work, the productivity of the team would dramatically increase. If we were to practice this in Congress, well, well that would be a miracle, wouldn’t it?
A PRAYER: Lord, I know we can’t do this without your enabling grace. Help us.
This has been Jim Johnson and pickleheavenpress.com
May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you
Pickle Heaven Press-James R. Johnson 