Valentine’s Day is near.  Time to get romantic.  I’ll try but I’ve had too many misses with my Mrs. Consider the following of which every word is true. 

One year I decided to book a B&B for my babe.  That would surely speak love to her.  Being a frugal guy, however, I found the best bargain in town. 

We arrived expecting to see a classy mansion, but what we got was sorta like a barn with several barn-ettes tacked on. We found our room around back and stepped onto a porch made of landscape timbers.  This concerned me.

We walked through the door and were startled by a loud belch.  No, it was not me!  It came from an animated rubber fish that hung on the wall, which then looked right at me and said, “Ooops, I must have eaten a bad worm.”  My dismay was turning into terror

The room was tiny.  The shower, toilet, and sink were in an uncapped cubicle which stood in the bedroom.  It had saloon doors, but they did supply a can of air freshener. 

The room was decorated in a Cowboy/Cajun theme.  Spurs sat next to a big rubber crawfish and a picture of John Wayne was draped in Mardi Gras beads. Every inch of wall and countertop was covered with crazy junk and a layer of dust. There wasn’t room to set your toothbrush down. (and you didn’t want to anyway)

The ceiling was made of corrugated steel which had glow-in-the-dark stars duct taped to it.  

Breakfast was self-serve in your room.  They provided little bottles of milk and some cereal that had a history and a bowl of bruised fruit.  The trash can was full and there were old grounds in the coffee maker.  

When we settled down for bed that first night, we found that the fish on the wall spontaneously spoke to us – until I took care of it. 

To top it off – outside the room stood a tree where dozens of vultures were gathered.  They were waiting for us to die.   Which I did once I remembered what I paid for this experience. 

And that was how I showed my love to my wife.  After several years of marriage counseling, we are now in a good place (just kidding about this) 

This sounds like a Yelp review doesn’t it? Actually, I wish I would have used Yelp before I used the B&B!

Oh, but Valentine’s is the time of year when random ridiculous assumptions are often made – especially by men.  “I need to get the wife a gift. I bet she would like one of those pajamagrams or a box of pears.” 

May I suggest that the best was to say I love you, is to ask, “How can I best love you?”   We all have our own unique “love language” and most of us are not multilingual – so we should ask.   

Love is something that is taught.  According to Paul, the older women are to teach the younger women how to, “love their husbands.”  Titus 2:4 KJV

It’s a teachable skill that we can learn from one another. So today, while you still have the time, look your valentine in the eye and ask, “Tell me dear, how I can best love you on Valentine’s Day?”    

He/she will feel deeply loved, simply because you were sensitive enough to ask (which would be a bargain for a frugal guy like me.)

If they waffle, nudge them again, “What is the most loving thing I can do for you on Valentine’s Day?” 

The answer may surprise you.  “Could you change the lightbulb in the closet.” or “Send the kids to mom’s and let’s just spend a quiet evening alone at the house.” or “I would love it if you would make that dinner you used to make.”   

And if she asks for a box of pears, Amazon delivers in one day.

Make a mental note so the next time you give a gift, it will be even more special because it will be spot on and because you cared enough to remember. 

Hey even a B&B may be nice but beware of rubber fish.